Night of the Unused Garden Waste Bin

By Nik Butler

They are gathering. You see them at the edge of your sight, they peek from behind a hedge or lurk just around the corner of that long drive way. We used them, they made us feel good about ourselves and then just like that we abandoned them. Did we imagine that after years of environmental good deeds  it would possible to simply to give them up?

Horsham faces the planning horror that is ‘The Night of the Unused Garden Waste Bin’. Sure there are many of us out there who heeded the warnings and paid our silver for the assurance that all our bins would continue to be employed at the roadside. However for the rest of us those bins now sit and stare with their wide mouthed smirk of distaste at our lack of convictions.

I guess we can try to put them out of our minds. We can push them back somewhere into the garden to join the other realms of plastic good intentions which the council disposed upon us. Some suggest that we should return them to the senders. Dropping them off from whence they came but there are no bins for our bins, only responsibility.

We could continue the innovation in utilisation and consider what alternatives these bins present to us. Turned upside down and with some imagination they would make an excellent tiny Dalek memorial for every garden in Horsham. With care and balance it might be possible to sit within the bin and ride down the grassy slopes of Denne Hill or possibly with enough momentum they could slide down on their backs. The application of a sharp knife and some hot glue might allow a few of them to be assembled into a new and rather mouldy children’s playhouse the lids being recycled as extremely large roofing tiles.

Why not consider the consistent water retaining properties of the bin construction and use it as another water barrel to catch those few drops of rain for which we are in such abundant supply.

Personally I think we can  use this as an opportunity to revitalise the Horsham Carnival Parades by encouraging a ‘best painted bin’ competition where the wheelie bins replace the trailer born floats of old. No matter what we choose to do with them we can be assured that these follies of foliage will be with us for many years to come.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *